Thursday, 2 May 2013

Is My Partner My Best Friend? Should He be?

This is a question that I have been thinking alot about lately! It seems to be that alot of people (mostly professionals) don't think your partner should  be your best friend. Mainly because they argue if there was nothing or no-one fulfilling in your life before, then your relationship is 'doomed' as one website said, which I do not agree with at all!

I first met my fella at 18, he was just someone I knew at work and who I had a laugh with. We were friends but nothing close. I ended up returning to that job after university and met him again. We talked alot, and eventually went on a date. It was to see Jackass 3, the most un-romantic first date movie ever, and I knew straight away this guy could be my friend as well as someone I was romantically interested in!

But is he worthy of the title best friend? My best friend is someone I met at uni, we do each others makeup, we got changed in the same room if going out, we have giggled all night long and got drunk together too many times. Shes seen me at my worst and best, and knows all those girly torments like 'Does this look good on me? Do I have to shave my legs?' and so on. Things my boyfriends doesn't get, try to talk bra's and shaving and he doesn't want to know. I would hate to sideline the friends I have and say 'Oh now I have a boyfriend hes my best friend now, your demoted'.

However my boyfriend shares more with me then my best friend! We share the same bed, he knows me inside out, he's cleaned up my sick from drinking too much, hes carried me home, hes seen me turn up on his door step crying my hormonal eyes out. He makes me laugh everyday, we do the squid dance together, and I never realised I would be so close to one person. Hes also much more then a best friend. If we argue there's more gravity to the argument, and a relationship isn't forever like a best friend is. If I don't speak to my friend for a few months they are still there but my boyfriends may not be!!

However I am one of those people that thinks my partner should be my best friend. Along with all the other attributes I feel he has. Hes not only my lover, my partner, hes the man I share my life with, my comfort giver, my emotional and intellectual equal and a whole other bunch of stuff to me. Hes my everything. But that doesn't mean I forget all my other best friends. They are all important to me for different reasons. I also believe that if me and my partner ever split up, we would still be best friends. He just knows too much for me to not remain friends with him.We have been together through alot and know that we share a friendship as well as love, which makes me feel I have found a very special man.

For people who put friends in one box, and relationships in another, in my opinion, has a very narrow minded way of thinking. Ive slept on my best (girl) friends sofa so often when I was poor it almost felt like a relationship minus the sex and arguments!! And if my friendships can feel like relationships why shouldn't my relationships feel like my friendships?! Maybe I'm just lucky to have more then one best friend, and know they all mean the world to me but for different reasons!

Do you think your partner should be your best friend? Or is your relationship different from friendship?

Lots of Love

x x